Funniest story you had with SPs

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Lets post some funny stories you have had in this hobby..

I will start ..

I booked one asian girl, arrived location and she offered drink but she was hardly speaking english. So while we were having a drink her cell phone started to ring she answered but like i said she cant speak english well and the guy on the phone was asking the address and she gave me to phone to talk to him.. lol.. well i talked to him about 10-15 mins he was asking all kind of questions like how she looks, her tits, her ass, face etc.. I said buddy i came here the bang her not to give you intel about her.. lol.. and he said he has appointment after me and asked me not to bang her hard and make her tired.. lol.. poor girl didnt understand a word what we were talking about.. it was funny and awkward time!
 
LOL : I said buddy i came here to bang her not to give you intel about her.. lol. :lol:
 
Can I play too?

Story 1:
In the middle of a very intense romp, we need to take a break to lubricate our engines. He gets the bottle from the nightstand next to the bed, sqeuezes out a decent amount on the important bits, and we resume the pumping. Half a second later, I'm overwhelmed by an intense burning sensation in my pussy, I push him away from me, and run to the bathtub screaming in pain.

Purell is NOT a good lubricant.

Story2:
This happened about a year ago, when I was working with an agency. I was meeting a new client at his hotel room downtown. I get to the room a few minutes early, knock on the door, and hear the gentleman inside tell me to come in. I get in, and he stands from the desk to walk toward me, with a surprise look on his face. I didn't think much of it, assuming he didn't expect me to get there a few minutes early, or that I look different than he imagined.

I greet him as I always do, with a bise on each cheek, while I say "Hi John, nice to meet you".

He starts laughing, and replies: "Hi. Nice meeting you as well. But I'm Bob".

Me: "Oh sorry. PhoneGirl must have given me the wrong name. Nice meeting you Bob."

Him [laughing even more]: Actually, I think that PhoneGirl probably gave you the wrong room number".

Me: ...

Him: [more laughing]

I somehow managed to blurb out some sort of apologies while bolting out of the room, mortified.
 
No. I washed up, took a few minutes to regroup, and fucked him silly.

I'm good that way.
 
I have a few to share but must run. Till tomorrow

There are also stories of weirdest places I've done it before. Not as shocking as 4x's car scenes with his babe but also funny
 
One day went to condo to see one. She opens door I walk in, she closes the door. I say you don't look like XYZ, she says no because I am ZYX. I said sorry but I asked for XYZ, oh she says XYZ in a couple of floors down. Phone person screwed up. LOL
 
Okay boys and ladies this is the funniest story of the year. Few of my friends knows this but i think its time to share..

I called one of the very popular agency for very popular lady. Booked her and arrived location 15mins early.. called the agency for room number and they said she is not ready and they would give me a call when she is ready. So i got coffee and started to wait. 15-20-25-30 mins no call yet... and i called the agency back and they said they are having a problem and they are trying to resolve it. So i said i will wait 15mins more if you are going to fix the problem.. so started to wait again.. i got a call from agency 5mins later... and the phone guy was having really hard time to tell me whats going on.. it was a Conference call.. the lady i wanted to see, agency owner, his partner and me.. they were like in the pain to tell me whats going on..lol.. so i said to the phone guy tell me whats going on.. and phone guy said to his partner that he is going to tell me whats going on.. and his partner was screaming at him not to tell me just cancel the appointment and offer me discount on next date.. lol. and finally phone guy told me whats going on.. He said they run out of towel in the room and they cant get more towel.. lol.. i said ok i will call you back and i did hung up the phone.. Got out of my car.. location was in downtown so i started to walk around.. saw canadian tire.. lol.. walked in.. did buy couple towels.. went back to my car.. call them again.. and said okay i got the towels anything else you need? lol.. they all 3 were ( 2 owners of the agency and the SP ) laughing like crazy on the phone.. and they said you are a stubburn guy.. so after 1 hour 15 mins later i got the room number.. went upstairs with towels in my hand.. when i saw the lady we couldnt stop laughing about it..

And it was one of the best session i had!
 
I was seeing a girl named Chinese Chrystal who has since retired I believe. There must have been like air in the condom because we both kept hearing this sound that sounded like a fart but we both believed that it must be the other person. After I finally came she said "I have never been with a guy that farted all through the sex. I said me? I thought it was you I wondered what you had for lunch but we finally figured out it was neither. I'm sure you have heard that sound at some time.
 
I had an embarrassing moment a few years ago. I had laid off the gym for a few months and had decided to go back and start exactly where I had left off. On this particular day I hit the squat rack hard. Lots of reps, lots of weight as if I never took anytime off. Followed by lots of leg curls, yup I felt like a monster as I strolled out of the gym that day.

Later that afternoon I booked a session with a high energy SP. I remember kneeling on the bed, getting a vigorous BBBJ, then laying on the bed as the BBBJ continued. Then a nice 69 as I still layed there on my back with her on top. Then she rode me, still on my back and her on top.

Then she asks me "quick get up I want it doggy", loving it when a woman tells me what she wants, I quickly stand up and crash, I fall to the floor beside the bed and I am looking up and see this gorgeous round ass on the bed above me, and hear, "hey where did you go?" "Hurry up stick it". I try to get up and I can't feel my legs. She finally realizes and rushes to my side trying to lift me up. Poor girl had to massage my legs just to get me up. MAN was I embarrassed, needless to say suffered through 3 days of the worse stiffness I have ever felt. The stiffness was in all 3 legs because I never did get the chance to finish that session and I couldn't blame the poor lady, it was all my fault. :oops:
 
Gen: I am sure this happens more than most people are aware. My story is only slightly different. I actually answered the door, and the young lady greeted me enthusiastically, with a DFK, and a big hug, right there, a few steps inside the doorway. I knew who she was, as I had tried to book her, but was told that she was not available that evening. In fact no one on my TDL was available that evening. As I was enjoying the kiss, I was thinking to myself, what should I do? As we started to break off the kiss, I told her that was really nice, and quite honestly, a little unexpected. She looked surprised, so I said, "you are certainly welcome to stay, in fact I tried to book you this evening, but I think you have the wrong room number". She asked to use the bathroom, where she made a call. When she came out, she told me that the room numbers were transposed. She thanked me for my hospitality, said, "perhaps another time", to which I said "absolutely" she gave me a great DFK, a nice hug, and off she went.
 
I called an Agency in Windsor and booked a smokin hot 19 yr old , new to the business for a noon hour appointment. Agency called the room to confirm that she would be there in twenty minutes. About forty minutes later I called the agency back and asked if there was a problem. They said they thought she was already there. Then a knock on the door so I told them she just arrived. The girl came in and said, "I've been all over the second floor looking for room 105"! Yup, she was new. Imagine looking for a first floor room on the second floor!!!
 
LMAO!!!! That was freaken funny!

How did the session go Don?
 
Gen, that's not right. That's quality pussy he was burning. That ain't right :shock:

thetank
 
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    FRIDAY at 𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔, 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟮𝟵𝟴-𝟬𝟴𝟵𝟴. 3 ladies waiting for you. Two Very Hot ladies (Qiqi & Summer) have returned to Alice spa today. Open 10am to 9pm: JOJO: is a busty JAPANESE girl, nice DD Cup boobs, short, petite small body, pretty face AV S2tar, bbbj cim cof rim, special services available. LUCKY (11:30am-9pm): is Vietnamese, small body, busty D
  49. Lilyspa1:
    Lily Spa : ❤️❤️ SuSu ( Asian )Slim , 😍😍Porn Service 🩷🩷Elena 22, Latino French, 36 DDD and 🍑🍑ASS, 💋💋Vicky 22, Philippine mixed White , very open-Minded , 😈bbbj , DFk 🔥Duo 🔥,☎️ 6475318288
  50. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa 🌹🌹🌹3 girls 😘Table shower 、body scrub 、 Sea salt bath👍5124 Dundas St W Etobicoke☎️416-817-3366👍 Young girl Cherry (Student)😘😘“charming breasts.”beautiful curvy hips.”very provocative service😘😘😘, professional super Luna deep tissue massage, has therapeutic effect to loosen bones and relieve muscle pressure and will bring you unexpected service effects, she will bring you a little surprise😍😍😍😍❤️ You are welcome to make an appointment at any time or walk in the
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